A “yes” would have ended two years of feeling directionless but a few minutes after hearing “No” I nosed dived into sadness. I just let it come in waves. The feelings would pass, but I felt disoriented, caught up in confusion of what is next; publish on my own or forget about it?
With plan B already in mind, feeling sad took me by surprise. I guess it was a release of almost a years worth of focus.
The sky was touching the earth, light rain fell and thick grey cloud hung in rain curtains. Cold and dampness drew inside with each breath. I returned to nature to sort out my thoughts.
I followed an impulse to stay off the trails and my green oilskin jacket blended me into the fir trees.
I spoke to my guides for help, asking for a clear sign about what is next? I said,
“Make it a sign that I absolutely cannot confuse with anything else. Make it crystal clear and before 6pm, now get to it!” I blubbered.
I broke away from the trees out into the open, down a hill and a mound of dirt pulled me to find a coyote den, empty, but used last summer. My eyes were drawn to clumps of deer fur, no carcass or other remains, a few feet away.
A short distance from that grew two straight ponderosa pines about 20 feet tall. The lowest limbs began swaying as though something had just brushed past them. The rest of the tree was motionless as were the neighbouring trees. You would think it was a breeze, but a very isolated one.
A few more steps and a turn and a green helium balloon hung upside down and deflated, just like my feelings.
“Garbage,” I thought, and reached to pull it from the tree.
I froze. This may be the sign.
An awareness to details rushed in. Attached was a ribbon and turquoise tube (bringing to mind Navajo culture, and my Navajo Spirit Grandmother, perhaps she was providing this answer) and inside was rolled up paper – a message.
The paper was swollen from the rain and too tight to pull out. I carried the balloon and its dangly bits on the rest of the walk, my curiosity growing.
At home I opened it…
In the first pass the note didn’t seem to answer the question about which way to go with the book. The words of the child were lovely and innocent, but later when I was telling Huz about it, the meaning came clear.
“I would like to see how far away my balloon travels.”
That’s the message, that’s the direction, “put the book out, set it free and see where it goes.”
Now you recall I asked for a crystal clear message. Well spirit made sure I got it. I checked my email and the first one read:
AbeBooks, Vancouver Island University, and Dynamic Owl Consulting
are looking for candidates like you. (courtesy of LinkedIn)
Okay, I got it clear and concise – keep going with the book!
All this happened before 6pm.
My intuition felt the messages had been understood correctly. This girl was back on course!!
Care to share your asks to the unseen and the answers that came back? Feel free to share below or by email, email is confidential.
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